James Bond Exposed

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Women sink into goo-goo eyes whenever he’s around; men want to be him; and the geriatric community, see him as the cornerstone of the fact, that their days were truly the Glory days. “Craig? Craig?! He’s blond, give me Sean Connery any day of the week.” He’s James Bond; or to get technical, “Bond, James Bond.”

Nowadays we have other big-shot superheroes. High testosterone filled muckety-mucks, with super-soldier serum; or gamma radiated bones; or a flashlight in their multi-billion dollar chest. Heroes with an odd spooky obsession with their dead parents and Coulrophobia. We have aliens who swoop down from Krypton and wreck a major metropolitan era. It’s all angst, drama, dark sepia color, moral ambiguity and a bunch of fellas’ who are too afraid to make a pass at the Black Widow. Now, Bond? Bond was a deal closer.
Thankfully, once every 3 or so years Hollywood dregs out our childhood fantasy, dusts the bloke up, washes him in martinis and fast cars, and catapults him into wacky-wacky mayhem. Again reminding us, that he of the double Os is a man’s man. Don’t believe me? Next time you’re at the Pub, kicking back your 3 pints, waltz on down to the restroom. See how the room is spinning? Now, try that with some hard liquor, one hand on a supermodel’s derriere, the other aiming your Walter PPK while jumping out of an airplane.
To celebrate Specter coming out (trailer below), here are some OO7 trivia facts every fan should know.

1. During all his outings as the super-spy, Sean Connery wore a toupee.

2. The name James Bond was picked, by Ian Flemming because it was the most innocuous and common moniker that he could come up with. He stole it from the name of an ornithologist. Ian had a copy of “Birds Of The West Indies, a study of Caribbean birds” by James Bond published in 1936, right on his desk while drumming up the character.

3. From his first outing in “Dr. No” to “Quantum Of Solace,” Bond has killed 352 people and slept with 52 women. Mathematicians and erudite are still crushing the numbers on “Skyfall”.

4. Barry Nelson, not Sean Connery, was the first actor to play Bond. “Casino Royale,” 1954, T.V. adaptation.

5. Bond’s drink of choice, The Vesper, was named after Casino Royale’s Femme Fatale: Vesper Lynd – “…Three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel…”.

6. Shaking a Martini releases a huge amount of antioxidants; hence the reason the secret-agent is in such good shape.

7. Roger Moore suffers from hoplophobia; that’s fear of fire alarms; and he’s also not so fond of loud, blaring sounds.

8. “The world is not enough,” is not only a Pierce Brosnan film, but the Bond family motto.

9. The Best of her Majesty’s secret service is really Scottish and half Swiss.

10. When he signed on to play the dashing spy in “GoldenEye,” Brosnan had to concede to a clause in his contract that, from now on, he could never again use a tux on any other film outside the franchise.

11. Outside of work, Bond’s favorite foods are: grilled sole, oeufs en cocotte and cold roast beef with potato salad.

12. There have been other 00 agents in the Bond saga. 002 kicked the bucket in “The Man With The Golden Gun,” 003 bites the dust in “A View To A Kill,” 004 swims with the fishes in “The Living Daylights” and 006 becomes the villain in “GoldenEye.” And we must not forget 009, who perishes in “Octopussy,” dressed as a clown.

13. Actors who turned down the role: Eric Bana, Hugh Jackman, James Purefoy, Julian McMahon, Gerard Butler, Sam Neill, Clint Eastwood and Dougray Scott.

14. James Bond actually fathered a kid. Seems he should have used a little bit more caution when bedding Kissy Suzuki, in “You Only Live Twice.” James Bond Jr.’s adventures were syndicated back in 1990, in the form of a terrible kid’s cartoon.

15. Sean Connery’s Martial Art’s instructor in “Never Say Never Again” -none other than Steven Seagal.

16. “Bond, James Bond,” was voted the best one-liner in cinema history by British viewers.

17. Since “Tomorrow Never Dies,” Bond’s main, and preferred weapon has passed from a Walther PPK to a Walther P99 semi-automatic pistol.

18. Goldfinger was played by two different actors. German actor Gert Fröbe lent the body while actor Michael Collins ended voicing to all his lines. As Connery put it in his book, Bond on Bond: “Fröbe’s vocabulary was limited to ‘How do you do? I am very pleased to be here’.”

19. “GoldenEye,” in reality was Ian Flemming’s idyllic Jamaican home. After his death, Bob Marley bought the estate. In this paradise, the former MI6 officer gave birth to the legend and penned all 14 novels of his opus.

20. Finally, Ian believed 4 novels were enough. By the end of “Diamonds are Forever,” he was ready to give the spy the six feet under retirement package. He went so far as to actually draw out an obituary. Thankfully, his publisher convinced him otherwise. Nonetheless, he still used this death notice in “You Only Live Twice.” Here’s a transcript if you want to get all macabre: 007 Obituary.

1 Comment

  • Lady L says:

    How many things that I didn’t know about 007! Very interesting.
    PS: Jagger sleep with that amount of women in one day! LOL

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