Subtle Signs She’s Trying to Pick You Up


Contrary to popular belief, guys are not the only ones who make the first move and try to get with someone. There are a ton of women out there who try and pick men up but have the hardest time because let’s be real, most guys wouldn’t know if a girl was hitting on them if it literally hit them in the head.

I’m not going to lie, I don’t usually make the first move and try to pick a guy up. But when I do, it’s usually in the most subtle way. AKA: you probably wouldn’t know I was actually trying to pick you up. You may just think I’m being a nice person. I have a tendency to be a bit shy.

Just like so many other girls out there! The large majority of women lack the confidence and personality to be blunt enough that you realize they’re hitting on you. Most girls are very subtle about their interest in you.

I’m not sure if it’s because guys have such a hard time believing a woman would go out of their way to try and pick them up or if women have such a different way of going about this process, either way I think you all need a few hints as to whether she’s trying to pick you up or not.

#1 She Smiles at You

A smile is worth a thousand words. While many women smile to be polite, if she’s holding her smile for an extended period of time, she may be hitting on you. Smiling is a universal symbol. It is said that our ancestors smiled in order to show another person that they were not a threat to them. Well, that has since evolved into meaning that you feel positively toward someone. So her smile really means that she’s into you.

#2 Eye Contact

Everybody should have eye contact when they’re communicating. It’s just common courtesy. However, when a girl keeps looking into your eyes without her eyes leaving you very often, she’s really trying to connect with you. This is especially true if she’s across the bar and keeps catching your eye. This is almost guaranteed that she’s trying to pick you up.

#3 She Mentions Something You’re Wearing

Normally, I would say that she’s complimenting you. But I think that is a rather obvious sign that she’s interested in what you have to offer. However, when she mentions that she really likes your shirt/shoes/hat or whatever interesting piece of clothing that you’re rocking that night, she’s trying to pick you up. I think this is a lot more subtle than straight up saying she thinks you’re hot. You may not even think much of some gal saying your t-shirt is cool.

#4 She Introduces Herself

If she’s the one taking her time to approach you and introduce herself, she wants you. It’s that simple. She wouldn’t waste her time telling a stranger her name if she wasn’t after something more important.

#5 She Playfully Slaps You

She’s not going to just slap you because she doesn’t like you. Don’t you remember when you were in elementary school and your parents convinced you a girl liked you because she kept kicking you at recess? Well, not much has actually changed. If she playfully hits you in any way after you tell a joke – especially if it’s a lame one – then she might be trying to pick you up.

#6 She Asks About Your Interests

Most guys just see this as casual conversation, but it’s so much more than that. If she asks about what you do in your free time, she might be trying to pick you up. Now, this is a lot different than asking what you do for work because she wants to know the real you – not the you that gets paid to do a certain job. This means she’s digging deeper than the surface information.

#7 She Mentions Not Having Plans for the Weekend

So, things are looking good and you’re hitting it off with a solid conversation. Then she suddenly gets on the topic of how she’s just going to be “chilling” this weekend with “not much planned”. Although this can seem like it’s just another part of the conversation, she’s really just trying to pick you up by letting you know she’s free this weekend. This opens up an opportunity for you to make plans with her.

#8 She Asks About Your Weekend Plans

Just like she may mention her lonesome weekend, she could also ask what your plans are for the weekend. This is basically her way to gauge if she should ask you to do something or if you’ll be too busy for her. It’s a pretty subtle sign that may seem like everyday conversation, but it actually means she’s trying to pick you up.

#9 She Stands Really Close to You

Personal space is for people who aren’t interested in you. When a girl is standing 2 feet away and not leaning in when she’s talking, she definitely doesn’t want you. But if this girl is standing so close that your shoulders are touching and she’s even leaning closer when she talks to you, she’s hitting on you – definitely.

#10 She Makes Herself Look More Appealing

This is actually something many women do unintentionally, but it can happen on purpose, too. By making herself look more appealing, I’m talking about the things she does when she’s around you. If she moves her hair behind her shoulder to present her neck, if she stands with her chest out to accentuate her boobs, and even if she arches her back to make her backside look better, she is subtly trying her best to pick you up. Her goal is to make herself look as good as she can for better chances of actually succeeding with you.

It’s not rocket science, guys. But if you’re having trouble determining if a girl is really trying to pick you up, these subtle signs can give you a clue.

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